3rd January: Cold Weather Wonders

It seems that the New Year has gifted me with a lovely head cold. I mean, it’s snowing in Florida, it’s raining in Antarctica, Niagara Falls is frozen solid… what’s a little head cold in the grand scheme?

I was traipsing over social media today and heard about the senseless moron that violated basic human decency. Something about going to Japan, specifically going to that particular forest with high suicide rates, and videoing someone who had expired. Here’s a fun tip, kids: don’t do that. Ever. Suicide is not a joke, not some rating or popularity booster. As someone who has been Baker Acted, that shit does NOT fly with me. At all. Be better. And if anyone feels like suicide would be their best option: please know there are other options. Ask for help. Demand it even. You have every right to be here.

In less serious news, I’m phenomenally glad this shortened week is almost over. Tomorrow is payday, and the night we go to tea with friends. I am quite looking forward to that.

I am exhausted, though, so this is the extent of my entry tonight. Hoping for more tomorrow.

Stay safe, friends!

2nd Jan.: Monday-flavored Tuesday, laughter, and books

It has been an interesting day.

This Monday-flavored Tuesday was a hell of a kickoff to the week. I got a promotion at work. More work, more difficult work, and no further increase in remuneration, at least not that I have been made aware of as of yet. I also hit an achievement at work that actually got recognized. Which was very nice.

I also packed away the Nerd Tree. Kept out only my tiny Niffler friend to keep me company. Cleaned all the dust off the top of my desk, as I am wont to do after a long weekend. And washed my hands so many times my skin hurts, even with the Working Hands lotion/cream I use. Oh well.

Perhaps part of it is the weather? The weather has been more akin to a true winter. Which is odd only because the Orange Line used to dance above Tampa but now we have freeze warnings for most of the week. And a forecast of actual, possible snow in the forecast. Snow. In Central Florida. It is bizarre. I actually got to layer clothing and wear a scarf today. It was lovely. Now, if I could only get this damn cough to go away. But that’s what I get for going to a place that had horses, a shit ton of trees, hay, a bonfire, and fireworks. My poor sinuses.

Got to see friends from Texas tonight. An evening spent with fellow nerdlings laughing and possibly scaring Muggles at an out of the way Olive Garden. My stomach hurts a bit. Somewhere between the laughter, the fifth glass of water, or that tiramisu I shared with my Darling Wife is the cause, I’m sure.

We’ve dropped our dining companions back at their hotel. They head back to their home state tomorrow morning; I’m glad I got to see them while they were in Florida. They’ve also made me want to visit LegoLand at least once.

Now we head back towards home with the car windows cracked just enough to make it breezy. We have the heat on, toasting our toes. It’s pleasant.

And while my Darling Wife drives, and sings along to the radio, I get to thinking. My coworker mentioned via an excited email that David Bowie’s son has started a digital book club. Furthermore, there is a list of the late Bowie’s top one hundred books. Being the bibliophile I am, and always looking for reading suggestions, I was more than ready to hunt down said list and see what it brought.

Wonder not a moment more, because here it is: David Bowie’s Top 100 books:

The Age of American Unreason, Susan Jacoby, 2008

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Díaz, 2007

The Coast of Utopia (trilogy), Tom Stoppard, 2007

Teenage: The Creation of Youth 1875-1945, Jon Savage, 2007

Fingersmith, Sarah Waters, 2002

The Trial of Henry Kissinger, Christopher Hitchens, 2001

Mr. Wilson’s Cabinet of Wonder, Lawrence Weschler, 1997

A People’s Tragedy: The Russian Revolution 1890-1924, Orlando Figes, 1997

The Insult, Rupert Thomson, 1996

Wonder Boys, Michael Chabon, 1995

The Bird Artist, Howard Norman, 1994

Kafka Was The Rage: A Greenwich Village Memoir, Anatole Broyard, 1993

Beyond the Brillo Box: The Visual Arts in Post-Historical Perspective, Arthur C. Danto, 1992

Sexual Personae: Art and Decadence from Nefertiti to Emily Dickinson, Camille Paglia, 1990

David Bomberg, Richard Cork, 1988

Sweet Soul Music: Rhythm and Blues and the Southern Dream of Freedom, Peter Guralnick, 1986

The Songlines, Bruce Chatwin, 1986

Hawksmoor, Peter Ackroyd, 1985

Nowhere To Run: The Story of Soul Music, Gerri Hirshey, 1984

Nights at the Circus, Angela Carter, 1984

Money, Martin Amis, 1984

White Noise, Don DeLillo, 1984

Flaubert’s Parrot, Julian Barnes, 1984

The Life and Times of Little Richard, Charles White, 1984

A People’s History of the United States, Howard Zinn, 1980

A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole, 1980

Interviews with Francis Bacon, David Sylvester, 1980

Darkness at Noon, Arthur Koestler, 1980

Earthly Powers, Anthony Burgess, 1980

Raw (a ‘graphix magazine’) 1980-91

Viz (magazine) 1979 –

The Gnostic Gospels, Elaine Pagels, 1979

Metropolitan Life, Fran Lebowitz, 1978

In Between the Sheets, Ian McEwan, 1978

Writers at Work: The Paris Review Interviews, ed. Malcolm Cowley, 1977

The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind, Julian Jaynes, 1976

Tales of Beatnik Glory, Ed Sanders, 1975

Mystery Train, Greil Marcus, 1975

Selected Poems, Frank O’Hara, 1974

Before the Deluge: A Portrait of Berlin in the 1920s, Otto Friedrich, 1972

In Bluebeard’s Castle: Some Notes Towards the Re-definition of Culture, George Steiner, 1971

Octobriana and the Russian Underground, Peter Sadecky, 1971

The Sound of the City: The Rise of Rock and Roll, Charlie Gillete, 1970

The Quest For Christa T, Christa Wolf, 1968

Awopbopaloobop Alopbamboom: The Golden Age of Rock, Nik Cohn, 1968

The Master and Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov, 1967

Journey into the Whirlwind, Eugenia Ginzburg, 1967

Last Exit to Brooklyn, Hubert Selby Jr., 1966

In Cold Blood, Truman Capote, 1965

City of Night, John Rechy, 1965

Herzog, Saul Bellow, 1964

Puckoon, Spike Milligan, 1963

The American Way of Death, Jessica Mitford, 1963

The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With The Sea, Yukio Mishima, 1963

The Fire Next Time, James Baldwin, 1963

A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess, 1962

Inside the Whale and Other Essays, George Orwell, 1962

The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, Muriel Spark, 1961

Private Eye (magazine) 1961 –

On Having No Head: Zen and the Rediscovery of the Obvious, Douglas Harding, 1961

Silence: Lectures and Writing, John Cage, 1961

Strange People, Frank Edwards, 1961

The Divided Self, R. D. Laing, 1960

All The Emperor’s Horses, David Kidd, 1960

Billy Liar, Keith Waterhouse, 1959

The Leopard, Giuseppe Di Lampedusa, 1958

On The Road, Jack Kerouac, 1957

The Hidden Persuaders, Vance Packard, 1957

Room at the Top, John Braine, 1957

A Grave for a Dolphin, Alberto Denti di Pirajno, 1956

The Outsider, Colin Wilson, 1956

Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov, 1955

Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell, 1949

The Street, Ann Petry, 1946

Black Boy, Richard Wright, 1945

Now, looking at that, I feel like a dunce. I know maybe a dozen of them offhand and read maybe half that. He had some eclectic tastes, Bowie did. I’ve no idea if I would read all of them, if given the chance. I’ll go through what the library, interwebs, and friends have available to borrow.

We’re nearly home, and it’s thankfully shy of midnight, so we are likely to go home, shed the clothes of the day and crawl into bed. Because tired.

Have a lovely evening my chilly darlings!

Day of Rest: 1st January, 2018

Last night, my Darling Wife and I went to a bonfire hosted by some friends.

I had a blast, thought it wasn’t the smoothest evening. It’s always nice to be around others that share hobbies or are like minded. And, let’s be honest, things afire delights some primitive little monkey part of my mind that just enjoys the sky shiny boom things. And, on a cold night, who doesn’t like a bonfire? I was reminded that I am terrible at remembering to introduce people to one another. Whoops!

As for goals, I got to make one of my weekend goals on a Monday! Napping. Naps are wonderful things when you have Fibromyalgia. Or maybe just in general. Especially when you have an Insomnia Goblin that likes hanging around for weeks on end. It doesn’t help that it seems I caught a bit of a cough after being surrounded by a thousand different allergens and people for several hours. Who’d have thunk?

Oh well. I made it through most of the holiday season without getting ill, so that is a personal achievement for me. Before I had a job with insurance, I ended up with walking pneumonia bad enough to permanently scar my left lung. Doing much better these days, generally. I mean, I still have Percy the Endometrial Polyp making my life hell, and I’m finding fun and new interesting things that I’ve developed allergies to… please do note the sarcasm there.

My holidays were relatively calm. The non-gift highlight was a massive slice of pumpkin pie. It was served properly: under a massive mountain of extra creamy, real whipped cream.

I’ve also cut and colored my hair, with help from my Darling Wife. Pics likely on Instagram or something when I get around to it.

It’s a little holiday/climate change miracle: they’re calling for snow in the Tampa Bay Area this week. As it is, the temperatures currently are not subtropical in nature. I think tonight it gets down into the 20s. I am very excited. And glad for the heating pad.

Between the pre-write planning and this little blog entry, I should have around 300 words for the day, but I will confirm for certain tomorrow. Or perhaps at the end of the week. Whenever I get time to do so.

Speaking of time, I need to stop tapping and start sleeping. That morning alarm clock will go off way too early no matter what I do. Sleep well, all, and Happy New Year!

Prewrite: the last day…

It’s the final day of 2017.

I feel okay today. As evidenced by the photo, I can actually smile.

Today. What an odd thought I have just had. It’s the end of the year. But… isn’t it just another day? An arbitrary designation of time, but isn’t all time relative? (Your best time-related jokes and puns in comments, please!) It’s been an interesting day.

Yesterday was full of difficulties and failure. Today is better and tomorrow is full of endless possibilities.

May 2018 shine brightly for you all. And, as said in Desiderata, by Max Ehrmann, “Strive to be happy.”

Prewrite: 28th December 2017

The end of the year is three days away and I feel like this year has flown by in flashes of nothing and bright spots of grief and strife. What has 2017 left me? Exhausted. That would be the short answer.

Important things have happened. I know they have. Weddings, babies being born. Great changes and little ones.

Hospitalizations for all sorts of reasons. A sheared off cornea, an abscessed tooth that swelled my face so badly it deviated my septum, blood sugar so high they thought I should be in a coma. Heart attacks, hospitalizations, surgeries, chemotherapy, hospice… The last half of the year gifted the untimely deaths of several friends, as well as the rather expected but still sudden death of my stepfather.

I gained weight. I’m almost three hundred pounds again and I despise it. But I’m trying. Gods, am I trying. A suicide attempt on my part and on two other friends. Thankfully, none of us were successful.

It seems that illness and misfortune has abounded this year. But it is mixed with many wonderful things as well.

Such as, I got demoted at work but also got new friends?

My Darling Wife and I helped said new friends redo a room for their daughter. I’m taking part of a maker’s art show, and I’ve actually sold some things I’ve made. Which is exciting. Or should be?

But god am I choking on misery right now. Eighteen days awake, with not more than three hours of sleep at most a night. So much pain. And I don’t take pain medicine unless it’s to the point that I’m throwing up from it or can’t see straight because of halos. It’s…exhausting, to reuse a word.

I feel not like a candle burning at both ends, but one thrown into a fire full tilt to melt.

Part of it is the depression. And/or the fibromyalgia. Which, in fun news, my new doctor doesn’t know if I actually have; she thinks it might be Rheumatoid Arthritis, which…is frustrating as that is what my previous doctor said it wasn’t. More tests, more blood to be drawn, an appointment coming up in the third week of January.

But it’s whatever. I’ll keep going. I have goals set. And the only way to meet them is to keep going. Even if I feel kith and kin to Artax in that damned Swamp of Sadness. But, as Bastian said, “Everyone knew that whoever let the sadness overtake him would sink into the swamp.” So I can’t do that. I can’t fall into that pit again. Because I could barely ask for help last time.

So I am tired. I have Yarn Group tonight, now, actually. So I should go be social and creative. And try not to fall asleep. And work on the Red Blanket. Included a picture of the blanket in progress.